As we approached the final days of the year, the Shadabad branch was blessed with the honor of hosting the Dideban (Watcher) of the Congress 60 Founder, Master Amin Dezhakam. His presence in the last days of the year was one of the most pleasant and auspicious events for every Companion and Traveler. His visits are always inspiring and deeply reassuring, filled with profound and enlightening points.
When I heard that Master Amin was going to visit our branch, a wave of joy flowed through me, and unconsciously I began connecting the signs together: the agenda topic dedicated to the Fourteenth Valley, the fourteenth anniversary of liberation of our respected Agent, Traveler Ali, the fourteenth day of the blessed month of Ramezan, and the final days of the year, a time naturally accompanied by reflection and reviewing the path we have walked. And above all, the presence of a Master overflowing with love.
In my heart I said to myself: What moment could be more perfect for a heartfelt conversation? An opportunity had arisen to listen, to learn, and to understand more deeply. And if Master Amin allowed, this interview would not be an ordinary conversation; rather, it would become a treasury of knowledge and valuable insights, a gift that could be reviewed time and time again, each time offering new lessons.
With this enthusiasm and longing, the dialogue began. I invite you to read this intimate conversation, for certainly his words illuminate the path ahead of us in the new year
Interviewer: Most of the wounds we receive in life come from the dearest people around us. What can we do so that these injuries don't harden or darken our hearts?
Mr. Amin Dezhakam: It is exactly so. In social relations, strangers can't truly harm us, because their words hold no weight. A bullet affects a person only when the distance is close. Even if the weapon is weak, but the distance is short, it kills the person. It means, even someone among your close ones, someone who perhaps doesn't have a very strong emotional bond with you, can hurt you with their words. And this is completely natural.
For example, our father or brother may say something that breaks our heart. This happened to us many times as well until little by little we learned that the words of people, especially close ones aren't said out of intention or malice. Your interpretation of the situation is what determines whether those wound forms, or if it does, whether it heals.
When someone says something and your heart breaks, that wound may stay with you and remain unhealed. What is the healing factor? You must reach a point of knowledge where the meaning of that sentence changes for you.
In the moment the words are spoken, you may interpret them like this: “He said that because he doesn't love me, I had no value for him. Others were more important than I was…”
At that moment you feel that the person you deeply love doesn't love you back, and that you aren't important to them. This interpretation is what wounds a person. But you must also look at the other side of the matter and tell yourself: This person wanted to awaken me, to guide me toward a better way. Either his intention was good, or he spoke without intention or malice.” Here is the point where our interpretation changes.
Sometimes we interpret it as something like this, “He said it deliberately, because I did not matter to him.” But at other times we interpret this way, “He did not say it deliberately. Those words didn't come from the depths of his heart. He was angry, he was under pressure, he had special circumstances, there was some goodness hidden in it, he spoke out of ignorance, or he was under the influence of substances, illness, or other conditions.” When your interpretation changes, the wound begins to heal from within.
An example of this can be found in the book “60 Degrees Below Zero”, under the title “On the Forehead of the book.” The writer’s son [Mr. Amin Dezhakam], who feels hurt by his father’s behavior, eventually rebels under the pressure and convinces himself that he is right. But when his mother speaks with him and explains the events from another perspective, his interpretation changes. And when the interpretation changes, everything changes at once. The pain, the heartbreak, the resentment, the bitterness, all of it transforms into an entirely different story.
Interviewer: How can we create balance between our personal desires and inner needs, and the roles and responsibilities we carry, so that both we and those around us remain satisfied?
Mr. Amin Dezhakam: This is a very good question. You must understand the true needs of people. In your role as a sister, a mother, a wife, and so on, you have a particular account with each person around you. If you can recognize the real and essential needs of those close to you, then those true and vital needs must be addressed.
A child longs for his mother and needs to spend time at the park with their mother; the mother must spends time with them, because this is a child’s true and essential need. When a mom gives a laptop [tablet] to play with may calm things temporarily, but it does not fulfill their real need. For example, you must take the child to the park so they can play with soil, and you must play with them as well. You must recognize their true and genuine needs and meet them. If secondary needs aren't fulfilled, it isn't a major issue; but the essential and vital needs must be met. And when those needs are addressed, your own needs will naturally be taken care of as well. If we want to prioritize, we must first identify our own true and real needs, and then the genuine needs of those around us. Then, based on this prioritization, we should allocate our time. This is the key to the matter.
Interviewer: Pain and suffering transform us. How can we, after passing through hardships, still keep a living heart and a hopeful outlook ?How can we grow without becoming fragile or losing the beautiful parts of our soul?
Mr. Amin: You have grown crooked! If you grow crooked, you become fragile (Referring to the “Crooked” CD). If you rise based on principles, you become more stable and more powerful. A six-story building with a proper foundation can bear far more weight than a two-story building, but if it becomes crooked, it will collapse. If you have grown crooked, even the slightest pressure will cause you distress.
Interviewer: Why is it that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, the destination seems to get farther from us? When should we stop trying and let go of the goal?
Mr. Amin: There is something called “effort”, something else called “struggling”, and there is another thing called “yearning”—whose meanings are different from each other. When a person begins to force things, that is struggling. But effort means moving in accordance with one’s correct capacity and using the maximum true ability one has. Struggling means drawing from your reserves. Of course, there are times when you must push hard [when you exert your effort], but when you begin forcing [to achieve something], you will lose your energy, your sensation or feeling becomes ruined, and you get farther from your destination .So the reason why you are left farther and farther from the destination, isn't effort—it is struggling.
Mr. Dezhakam always says: You do your effort; the result has nothing to do with you. [in our Congress 60 trainings, we have the triangle of Request, Destiny (تقدیر) and the Divine Order: which means to achieve something, first, we have to want it seriously, then we have to do our best to achieve it and finally the God’s Order must be issued so that I can reach it]. It is Divine Command and destiny. The Divine Command may say: “the time is not ripe for you to have it,” and your request must reach its required purity. Therefore, if we are on a path and the destination moves farther away, it means we are forcing too much, we are struggling to reach it. For example: in 2005, I enrolled in a preparatory class to take the Master’s entrance exam. In the first mock exam, my rank was 12; in the second, 24; in the next, 35. The reason was that I was forcing myself. I wanted to pass the exam out of compulsion, and my intention was not pure. I wanted to use my degree to prove myself to certain people. Instead of true effort, I was struggling and I was moving farther from my path.
Interviewer: In what moments or under what situation have you felt the presence of God beside you more than ever?
Mr. Amin: In the moments when I read the Quran, when I worship, or when I try sincerely to accomplish my tasks. I make my effort, yet despite all my efforts, sometimes things don't get done. At the moment I read the [holy] Quran, I realize something; I learn something from the [holy] Quran that helps my efforts and plans to come to completion. At that moment, I feel God’s support and assistance—that He has prepared the conditions for me and has granted His permission for these things to be fulfilled.
Interviewer: Many female companions, due to living beside a drug consumer husband and being forced to take on masculine responsibilities in order to preserve the family, have become distanced from their feminine nature. How can this be restored, and how can they reclaim their primary role?
Mr. Amin: The issue is the knot of power. Mr. Hossein Dezhakam struggled with addiction for many years while still working, but Mrs. Annie supported him and kept the family balanced and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. That a wife takes responsibility, restores the household, and preserves the family isn't a problem at all; in fact, it is wonderful. But certain things occur namely the play of power and the knot of power. Life has a visible dimension and an invisible dimension. The visible dimension consists of things like cooking, housekeeping, going to work, and so on. But the invisible dimension is that human beings generally enjoy whatever gives them power. Sometimes this power is money; sometimes it is having a voice that others listen to, which creates popularity, attention, and acceptance all of which are very pleasurable. When every command you give is carried out, when your word [order] becomes the final word, this pleasure cannot easily be taken away. Such a person wants life to move forward exactly according to their own will—ruling alone—and cannot let go of personal desires.
In such cases, a person must renounce that power. Wise individuals take power and accept responsibilities, but afterward they hand it over just like developed countries where power is held for four years and then everything is transferred [to another person]. I have delegated many of my own responsibilities. Letting go of power is the key to the matter.
Your husband once had addiction, and you helped him and preserved the family. But now you don't want that power to fade; you want to keep it. This is not correct. Life must be teamwork; it must not be a master-and-servant structure. In this matter, if a person can let go of that power and the pleasure of having everything under command and if they can also take into account the views of others, then the issue will be resolved. This dominance, rulership, and controlling attitude isn't compatible with generosity and feminine qualities. When a woman adopts such a character, she becomes distanced from her gentle nature, becomes harsh, and her husband and children drift away from her, because she is no longer the person she once was; she has turned into something else. And when this happens, other consequences will follow.
A man seeks the affection and gentleness of a woman, and if these are absent, he will lose his reason [to attend home]. It is like coming to Congress 60 and being told that there are no meetings and no legions anymore. Even if everyone loves Congress 60, no one would come, because what gathers people together is the energy of the legions and the meetings.
In such a situation, a man may be drawn toward another woman, because he is seeking affection and tenderness. When roles in life become reversed, lovelessness appears. A companion must be the Traveler’s wing of flight, not the weight that prevents him from flying. The energy of the companion must reach the Traveler, and these energies must be released in the invisible dimension so that all family members can find their roles and each can grow.
Interviewer: Which artificial intelligence programs are you familiar with and use? And what should we do so that we do not become dependent on this structure?
I work with the Duck program and ChatGPT. These are things that have entered our lives, and they are very good, but the benefit lies in using them as tools for learning. However, you must not forget the essential point: there are certain tasks you must do yourself. For example, you have a car and you drive everywhere, but sometimes you tell yourself, “This distance is short; I will walk,” because walking strengthens your legs. This is the same. Sometimes you must use these tools, and sometimes you must read a book, write with your own hands, and think on your own. Actions that weaken a human being over time must not be continued. You must look ahead consider the coming year. If during this time you use these programs but don't read books, don't engage your memory, intelligence, and feelings, gradually these faculties will weaken and stop functioning. Therefore, you must look ahead and establish balance between these things.
Interviewer: And a final word for the companions of Shadabad Branch:
Mr. Amin: The companions of the Shadabad Branch have always been a source of encouragement and joy for us. Whenever I come to this branch, I feel very good, and their strength and active presence make me hopeful and happy. I hope other branches use Shadabad branch as a model. Of course, we have other branches that are similar, but they need to raise their level and strengthen themselves.
I hope the members of the Shadabad Branch maintain the good conditions they have, continue to grow, support their families, devote more time to their homes, prepare good and nourishing meals, and teach their children to do household tasks so that they don't become one-dimensional. In this way, the family will become stronger over time.
We sincerely thank Master Amin for accompanying us with his warm presence and compassionate words. We wish that he continues to shine more than ever on the path of service and education, and that his knowledge and wisdom remain a source of inspiration for others.
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Source: Shadabad Branch – Companions, Wednesday, March 19, 2025
Translated by Companion Fateme S, Sheikhbahaee branch of Congress 60, Isfahan, Iran
Edited and revised by Elahe