From nowhere to somewhere

3 years ago in a day like today I was sitting on my bed and I was smoking meth. I was smoking meth 10 hours a day, being stoned had no meaning anymore, I was using so I could continue breathing, so I could stand on my feet, and continue my miserable excuse of life.

One day my uncle came to our house with his family, usually when we had guest I had my mother tell them that I was not home and I would imprisoned me in my room.

But that day my father told our guests that I was at my room, so I had no choice but to come out. In order to be able to come out of the room I started to prepare myself to look good in front of my uncle this preparation took 3 hours. When I finally came out of my room after greetings because of using load of crystal meth I started talking and I talked about everywhere and everything.

 I thought I am doing well but after my uncle left, my mother looked at me and while she was crying she said, I wish you had never came out of your room, you are a disgrace to our family, I wish I had never asked God for a son.

 When I heard these words of my mother’s mouth, I felt really     embarrassed but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was a slave to narcotics and the devil and I had no choice.

What have I done to make my mother who loves me tell me these words? I knew how I dishonored my family in these 12 years of my addiction, they tolerated me, but if I had a son like me…….

I was crying and smoking meth simultaneously, 5 Grams of crack and half a gram of crystal meth daily. I begged God to show me the way to help myself. Many times I thought about suicide but this was not the solution. I would have hurt my family more with killing myself.

Days passed like this, but after a while the doors of Congress 60 became opened to me, I tried my best and I listened and acted as my guide said.

Soon I saw the many changes in my life because of the treatment; I saw happiness in my mother’s eyes. She was praying for my redemption every day.

The happiness of my mother and the sparkle of hope in her eyes gave me more strength to become revived from darkness of addiction.

I decided to write these contents after the 80 minutes of rugby game which we had against the national rugby team of Iran. I thought 3 years ago I was using narcotics and now I am playing in the rugby team of Congress 60!

I prayed for Mr. Dezhakam and my guide Mr. Shahrokh and I remembered the tenth valley which says: Human being past attributes don’t remain the same because he is constantly changing.

Dear Mr. Dezhakam you reminded us to burst forth. You reminded us that we could do anything we just need to walk the righteous path.

Note: the writer of this essay (Bahador) is called to the national rugby team of Iran.

Written by: Traveler Bahador

Translated by: Traveler Ehsan Ranjbar