نسخه فارسی
نسخه فارسی

Marriage

Marriage

The eighth  session of 60th  round of the Academy Branch Workshops was held on 18 October , 2017 at 10 a.m., this meeting was held by Master Dezhakam as the master of ceremony and Mrs. Zahra as the secretary. The weekly agenda was "Marriage".

Hello friends, I am Hossein, a traveler. I had no predetermined idea about this agenda. I have talked about communication or eating etiquettes: to take a spoon in the right hand and fork in the left or start eating from one side of your plate. i decided to speak about marriage as well and guide (each other), if there are any problems. Marriage age is continually increasing in the world. One of the dilemmas we will face in our country is negative population growth. When we have no reproduction in our country, population will decrease and it will cause many problems meaning that we will not have work-force in the future and (house or complex) building will be stopped. Real state has faced depression and there are no customers or applicants for houses or apartments. Therefore, a danger alarm is sounding in our country and all over the world.

I have told several times that I have no emphasis on marriage (among members) in Congress60. However, it is allowed to marry the one you want based on the traditions. Marriage or working with a Congress60's member has only one condition: do it independently of Congress60. A foreign country conquered an Islamic country. The conqueror once heard a strange voice and asked what it was. They answered this is Adhan (the Islamic call for worship). She asked: "does it harm us?" They said: "No". She said: "ok, let them say Adhan"! If your marriage or work does not damage Congress60, it is acceptable.

We say do not take a partner for your job from Congress60, it is because our experiences indicate that cooperating for a job makes some problems and conflicts and this will cause our death (destruction). I have no problem with marriage in Congress60, but if they face any problems, we cannot interfere! If it will be good, its benefits will return to you; however, if it is bad, it will make problems in Congress60.    

 Generally, "family" is very valuable for Congress60. We have to respect ladies and fortunately this took place in Congress60. On Friday, ladies were sitting on the chairs, while men were standing in Taleqani Park.   Respect the women. Do not pay attention to nonsense like "he is a hen-pecked man". If a student studies well, they will call them "book worm". These are all negative sentences. They are stated by those who do not study and those who do not respect women. How is it possible not to respect a woman who has given birth to you. We completely respect women in Congress60 and Taleqani Park. Respecting women was a part of our culture in the past. If we were sitting in a bus and a woman got on the bus, we gave our seat to her. When we were talking to women, we used plural pronouns to address them. We should fortify the foundation of families. We do not come to Congress60 to destroy our family (we come here to construct it).

Marriage is like a triangle consisting of three sides of: a man, a woman and the base side of it is the similarities between them. We have to work on their similarities and not the differences. The more the differences, the longer the base side will be (they become more distant from each other). Nothing is the same in human beings. No two human beings have the same fingerprint. No two human beings have the same pupil and retina. Any individual's hair is different from others. If the population number of the world is seven billion people, we have seven billion type of hair. How is it possible to find two human beings who have the same characters. The only thing which fortifies a family life is their similarities. Therefore, we should focus on the similarities not the differences. Some men and women work on their differences and try to make their spouse the same as themselves, which results in a war among them. For instance, the man does not like eggplant stew, then is the woman forced to cook eggplant stew every night?! Or the man does not like the name of his mother-in-law, then don't mention her name continually. It is impossible to find a spouse who is 100 per cent like you. Marriage is not like the Platonic love. Shirin and Farhad or Lily and Majnoon are beautiful stories in which they did not reach each other (they could not make a family together). These (stories) happened because they could not obtain each other, otherwise, they faced other problems.

If you move in the right path, the Lord will help you. Nowadays, we are in a difficult situation. Although people's welfare and financial status is good, their expectations have increased. We had an idiom reading that whenever you get wealthy, eat  rice and chicken every night. In the past, people ate rice and chicken once a year, but now they can eat rice and chicken every night. In the past, people had not TV or radio, and they were more comfortable. However, today, as they want to get married, they want to have an apartment, TV, a refrigerator, and an oven. These have made the work difficult. When they decide to get married, they face many problems and they do not know what to do. Those who are married should keep and strengthen their family life. Those who have not get married yet, think about that. If you want to do it in Congress60, take a traditional approach and accept its consequences. Congress60 is a part of God's land in which you can come and salute each other; therefore, take care that your conflicts not enter Congress60. Try to work on the similarities. This week you have time to speak about this issue.

Only a disaster-stricken knows the value of blessing. Know the blessing you have now (being in a holy and sacred place of Congress60). Don't consider high Mehrie (the money paid to the wife as she gets married, it is somehow different from alimony which is paid after divorce) for your marriage. High amounts of Mehrie will result in separation. You promise to pay that amount as you get married with the thought that no men have given it and no women have taken it; however, it is easily taken. One of my acquaintances was a doctor and he had undertaken 5000 gold coins for his wife's Mehrie. After three months, his wife decided to take the coins. Determine a reasonable thing as your Mehrie. The important point is that you think about marriage and you want to get married, then God will help you.

Another important point is that when a marriage proposal is posed by a male, do not consider it as marriage. It will spoil everything. How can you call a lady as a man's wife, before they get married? If a man posed a marriage proposal, no one is allowed to ask about that. Because it puts them in a difficult situation and they may not get married and they may not come to Congress60 thereafter.

Next point is that from now on the birthdays ceremonies (anniversary of being liberated from addiction) will be included in the main session. For a while, we were holding the birthdays after the session, we said our prayer and then the birthday ceremony started. Hereafter, the person who is going to celebrate his person must introduce himself after the last second-traveler introduce themselves. Then the freed men (who have more than five years of liberation from addiction) will introduce themselves. Thereafter, the birthday ceremony is held. Then, the sanctity of Congress60 is read by the master of ceremony and the meeting will finish. A traveler is going to celebrate his birthday after a while (a year or two years). This ceremony must be held with complete respect and dignity. That is why we decided to insert this ceremony in the meeting.

The next point is that the guides, who are not allowed to take more pupils [since the number of each legion is limited to 20 members], must close their scarf when they are attending Congress60. Those who can take pupils must go in front of the audience and introduce themselves so that the newcomers will select them. No one is allowed to introduce a guide to a newcomer [because a newcomer must select their own guide based on their own senses]. I hope you will do this hereafter. Thank you for listening to me.

Translated by Elahe

 

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