How the valleys came to be written
 
Calander
4/15/2017 12:00:00 AM
     

How the valleys came to be written

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I thought my only problems were drugs or alcohol and that I should refrain from them. I didn’t pay any attention to the key issues surrounding addiction, such as the cellular structures, manners of thinking and living and my worldview in general.
  

 

I was born in 1949 in a military family in Iran. My father was a professional musician, and I started to learn the trumpet at the age of 13.

At 16, I played in local jazz groups of my hometown and that’s when I was introduced to Hashish which I used occasionally.

When I was 19, I moved from Kerman, my birthplace, to Tehran, the capital city, to attend the University of Science and Technology in the field of electro technique.

I worked throughout my university years, and my career as an engineer lasted for 28 years.

My education and work in the field of engineering had transformed me into a logical person having a scientific outlook on everything in life. For almost 20 years, I was in charge of repairing all kinds of telecommunication and industrial systems and sometimes I had to find the faulty wires from thousands of wires on the map. If I didn’t find the problem, the system wouldn’t work.

The last 8 years of my career was spent on research and design of infrared electronic systems and after many years of management, I established a factory.

It was under these conditions that destiny intervened.  I was a materialistic person who didn’t believe in faith and God at all and only believed in things that I could see or touch or things that could be measured or proven by formulas and scientific tools. With that kind of a personality I entered these two new phases of my life: heavy addiction to alcohol and opium and research in the field of metaphysics or the unknown.

I read all the books that I could get my hands; all the holy books of different religions like the Bible, Quran and Hinduism, Buddhism and attended all kinds of sessions and meetings including exorcism or evoking a spirit, yoga, prayer session, hypnotism, going to the synagogue, church and temples and so on.

My addiction to alcohol and other drugs led to hard core addiction.  If I didn’t drink a whole bottle at night, I couldn’t go to sleep, and, during the days, I had to eat 5 grams of opium to be able to walk.

My trips of discovery had turned me into a messed up person who had constant nightmares and fought with all kinds of horrific creatures till morning and woke up screaming in the middle of night.

As a result of addiction and mental and physical imbalance, I eventually lost everything that I had worked for all my life including my business and cars that I had owned. I was even arrested several times and sent to prison for a while.

The situation was extremely bad and I could not even afford the daily expenses of my wife and three children. Everyone refused to help me since I was an addict.  Creditors were always after me, so I went into hiding in a small city. It was a very difficult time in my life.

Since I had lost hope in all people, I sought help from God. I went to sacred places and prayed tirelessly but to no avail. Neither my addiction was cured nor did the creditors go away.

I cried and cried to the Lord asking for his help with no result and gradually my addiction to alcohol became worse.

I lost hope in God as well until one day I was in a cemetery in another city.  I was sitting down, looking at the sky and singing this poem for him:

“I’m drunk and you’re crazy, who is going to take us home?

I told you a hundred times not to drink so much”

I told myself “Hossein! You’ve spent 14 years of your life searching for the unknown, and you haven’t gained anything. Look at yourself and your current position; you wanted to ascend but you’ve crashed. Leave these childish games aside.”

I went to a sanctuary near the cemetery and saw a man there who was about 60 years old, tall and calm.

I told him: “I’m looking for a spiritual master.” He said: “Don’t search because you won’t find.”

Since I was very tired of the stupid games that I had played, I accepted his advice and the search for the unknown stopped.

My addiction began as a hobby and then transformed into full scale chronic use. For 17 years I was a professional addict; for the first 5 years I didn’t believe that I had any problem, but when I tried to stop using and experienced the difficulties, I realized how dependent I had become on drugs.

At that time, my war on drugs began and I tried my very best to leave the dark world of drug addiction. I tried all the available methods to quit the habit but was unsuccessful. Each time that I tried to quit, I became weaker and more miserable.

In those days, I only wanted to stop using drugs, but my mental and spiritual state had also been affected. I thought my only problems were drugs or alcohol and that I should refrain from them. I didn’t pay any attention to the key issues surrounding addiction, such as the cellular structures, manners of thinking and living and my worldview in general.

That’s why my battle with addiction lasted 12 years. In this long, destructive battle I realized that I knew nothing about the enemy.

Addiction had invaded every cell of my body, every particle of my spirit and psyche and my mentality. Who am I fighting with? Am I fighting with myself? How could I fight with myself?

If I win this war with myself, I’ll probably destroy myself and, if I run away from this battle, then all my life I’ll have to run from myself. If I want to fight my ignorance and lack of awareness, they wouldn’t perish by fighting. What should be done?

Make peace. Make peace with whom? With me, because this wasteful, destructive battle took its toll on me each day  until complete annihilation loomed on the horizon.

So I made peace with the fact that I would use drugs till the day that I died and that I would never attempt to quit drugs again. I breathed a sigh of relief; as if a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had surrendered unconditionally to addiction.

Before making peace with myself I used to think that everyone should help me with my problems.  I even believed that my friends and relatives should repay my debts to the creditors. However, upon the ceasefire with myself, I concluded that I must rely only on myself and not on anybody else.

After a few days I told myself: “you use alcohol and opium at the same time; isn’t it better to choose only one of them and do it for the rest of your life?”

I accepted this bargain with myself and stopped drinking in a matter of a few days. It was interesting to note that after quitting alcohol, my opium consumption didn’t worsen and in fact, I became more alert and balanced.

After one week, I left my hiding place and went back home in a real bad state. When my wife and three children saw me like that in the middle of the night, tears of joy and sadness rolled down their cheeks.

After a few days rest, I decided to go to work, but I remembered that my office had been closed by court order. Since I needed to start somewhere, every morning I entered the office by the window, and each evening I did the same to get out of the office. After some time, having access to certain files and making some calls, I sorted out some of the problems.

An inner voice was telling me to at least organize my daily drug use, the amount and the timing of each dosage.

At first, it seemed impossible but I gave it a try anyway. I picked up a pen and a paper and after a few days I sorted out the amount of my daily consumption and the time of each dosage. The complete story has been published in my book called “Crossing the Zone 60 Degrees below Zero”.

Thus with this journey of recovery and after 11 months I quit my addiction and in a feeling of serenity, I became free of drugs for good.

Many unknown issues became clear for me when I was active in the field of metaphysics. I had gotten to know three masters by the names of Sardar (general), white eagle, and Ra’d (thunder) who had different nationalities. However, I had received no news from them for a long time. When I attempted to cure my addiction; suddenly they descended from the sky upon me and encouraged me on the path that I had taken.

They told me: “You must know that if God, religion, science, the journey to the unknown, and the metaphysics could not help humanity to lead a better life and only cause backwardness and ignorance, then they are nothing but a bunch of meaningless words.”

They said: “First know the ignorance in order to realize the knowledge.

You denied the existence of the Supreme Power based on your false and biased perception, then accepted his existence based on your own illusion and then again denied him due to your chaotic mental state.

You must know that creation is based on precise and detailed planning and everything is where it should be.  You don’t even have enough knowledge about a cell in your body let alone yourself. You weren’t even able to rule and control your own body and mind, how then could you make conclusions about the universe, creation and its creator?

We do accept that some people for the sake of worldly powers have made God exclusive only to themselves and recognize themselves as his rightful representatives.  They have tarnished the image of humanity and have committed atrocities in his name. In fact, they have gone to such an extent that, when God’s name is said, some people do not even want to hear it.”

I said: “So, do you want to introduce me to God?”

They said: “No, never. We’ve got nothing to do with religion, nationality, race and sex. If you agree we wish to introduce you gradually to yourself so that you realize the inner forces and strengths within you.  We wish to teach you the path of right and positive thinking and lead you out of the darkness.”

I said: “Why me? What benefits do I have for you? We’re not even related! Why are you willing to spend your time on me?”

They said: “teaching you has considerable benefits for us, but we can’t tell you about it just yet since you won’t understand. Also these teachings are not meant only for you. You must write your learning and experiences and teach them to others.”

I said: “I think you’ve mistaken; I’m so dark that if you wash  me with the water of all the rivers in the world, I won’t become clean. I’m an addict, a drug addict. Do you know what that means? Now you’re saying that I’ll become a guide?”

They smiled and said: “We know you better than yourself. We know your past history; what is in the commandment will be carried out.”

Even though all this was unbelievable to me, I still accepted. Thus my trainings began, and, after a year, I left  the world of addiction and published my first book.

The collection of my writings and teachings is  thousands of pages, and I’m gradually publishing them. However, I’m still learning because there are no limits for acquiring knowledge. As a notable person once said, “From the time you’re in the crib till they put you in the grave, you must constantly learn”.

During my treatment I realized that to successfully treat drug addiction, besides the physical body and psyche; we must pay attention to a third component called the worldview, which comprises our perception, outlook and view towards life in general. 

 

Translated by :  Ehsan Ranjbar 

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